I Care, But Not That Much

Jan 10, 2015 at 09:07

I care but not that much is a line used by Herb Cohen when he talks about negoiagating and selling, (http://www.herbcohenonline.com/outlines.htm). Caring too much can be our downfall in relationships of all kinds, personal, interpersonal and business. We sometimes put too much attention on getting a result, not offending others, trying to be a moderate and over considerate.

When you care too much and are over-invested emotionally, there is an increased flow of adrenalin which causes you to become doped-up and dumbed­-down. This results in loss of perspective, impaired judgment and a focus on failure. Herb Cohen

Under this will be the universal fear we all seem to carry, the feeling we are not important or we are not loved. We compromise, give to much away to the other person or person's and end up not getting our needs met or losing out in the negotiation. We sometimes invest energy in things that really are not that important and be kind to people who do not understand fair play, generosity and other people's needs. We are all equal, is theoretically correct no doubt, in this working model, that is a long way from the truth.

If we think in the form of energy, there is a balance between those who care too much and those who do not care about anything but themselves. To gain an energy balance these two forces are pulled together. To stop this imbalance those who give too much may need to come to a point of learning to Care, but not that much. A firmer sense of self and self worth needs to be cultured and we may need to look at our priorities. . Sometimes we do this in personal relationships, we give way too much then pull back or are left feeling hurt when others take and do not consider our feelings. It is up to each and every one of us to consider and address our own feelings. What is it we want from the situation? Those who care mostly about themselves are far less capable of changing, they tend never to see the issue as theirs

Being a nice person can be a trap.

Being an empowered person who knows what they want and goes about it in a win/win kind of way would be more rewarding. Reducing the over focus on the other parties needs and balancing it with our own will assist us to come to a better place within. Not being totally focussed on a single outcome, being open to other opportunities and solutions can be beneficial.

How often in relationships or at work do we consider the other person's needs, what the boss wants, accept rudeness from others? It might be time to give a warning snap. How often do we see people stand up for what they want, even call the boss names and get a pay raise? Being true to ourselves may not always make us popular.

I Care, But Not That Much is not about being insensitive, it more about knowing what we want and being open to all the opportunities that might present.